This is a different kind of article in that I want to share a story about a play that I recently saw that had amazing insights into the World of passion. Delving deep into the storyline I couldn’t help but watch the rollercoaster ride of a man living out his passion come crashing down before my eyes.
The story revolves around two characters, Harry, an obsessed bloke who wants to make the big time dancing (when really he’s not that great), and Anna, a girl looking for excitement in her life and the chance to dance in front of Royalty.
Harry was an interesting character. One thing was for certain which is why I am writing this post. He had PASSION! He lived in a dirty old room where he would practice dancing, day in and day out, while endlessly pursuing his dream of finding a dance partner to go professional with. He posted advertisements in the local paper seeking his dance partner. Unfortunately no ladies were taking the bait. Weeks and weeks went by but he never gave up. However, his unforgiving passion did lead to another key behaviour.
PERSISTENCE got him there! He found his dance partner! He did not try to change his method of posting the same advertisement in the local paper, but he kept at it with persistence.
In the business world and in the world of life, how many “No’s” do you need to hear before you reach a “Yes”? Thinking of your own life, when do you give up? Do you give up when you hear a “No” the first time? What about if you miss or make a mistake? What do you do if you fail at something the first time? Persistence is key to reaching your goal.
“The most essential factor for success is persistence – the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come.”
Now Harry, even though he hadn’t found his dance partner for weeks, did not change his method in trying to find her. My recommendation to Harry would be to look into what could he learn from his failure to attract someone? Learning from his “No’s” and altering his advertisement, or trying a new approach may have just got him that partner FASTER!
When you hear or “No” or fail for the first time, how do you reflect on this and what do you learn from it? Is the fastest way to get to success through trying the same thing and having a thousand failures? Or is it faster to have a failure and improve your approach for the next time?
Back to the Story, Harry finds his partner. They struggle at first to build a relationship and she is totally horrible at dancing. However, what they have in common is their passion for dancing. Practice, practice, practice! Living out your passion and developing your skills in this area on a daily basis gets you to where you want to go.
Harry and Anna practiced like crazy and they eventually started to get recognised as professionals in their field. HARD WORK goes in, TIME and ENERGY exhausted. However, even though they are working ridiculously hard at it, they LOVE it because it’s their PASSION.
What are you truly passionate about? If you could live out your passion on a daily basis, how hard would you work? How hard are you willing to work to be able to be in a situation so you can live out your passion?
Passion versus Obsession
Anna starts to get phenomenally good at dancing while Harry plateaus (he’s physically getting older). Anna is living a balanced life, meeting new people, traveling the World and is soon to get married. Harry, on the other hand, is just TOO passionate about dancing.
How can someone be too passionate about what they love? What happens in your life when you start to focus solely on one thing and nothing else? Harry loses sight of everything else in life around him. His friendships deteriorate, he is less productive at work, he fails to understand the political and environmental world around him. His dancing also suffers.
His passion that he loves and dedicates so much of his time to is also deteriorating, as his relationship with his dance partner, Anna, suffers on a personal level, and he can not understand the external world and how to make best use of his talents.
Moving away from the story and back to real life, being TOO passionate about a particular thing can consume one’s life and lead to a deterioration in other areas of life. The passion is no longer a passion. The passion has become an obsession which can be punishing in other areas of life.
Balancing your life is essential for absolute happiness and ultimate success. Friendships and health are often the first two key areas that people lose sight of when they are just too passionate about achieving something. When I say too passionate, I mean obsessed and dedicating too much time and energy into one particular area of life at the expense of other important areas.
Self-awareness is key to balancing your life. Knowing yourself is the foundation of happiness. Where are you currently spending your time and energy and how satisfied are you with those areas?
Be 110% dedicated and passionate for what it is you want to do. Go after it with pure dedication and determination. But one key thing to remember is, don’t lose sight of other important areas of your life.
Brendan Baker is an entrepreneur, socialite and starter of happiness. He runs Australia’s largest social network for individuals in their 20’s and has created The Start of Happiness, a cause dedicated to helping individuals find absolute happiness in their own lives while also helping individuals take action for Starting the Happiness in the lives of others. You can visit Brendan and The Start of Happiness at www.startofhappiness.com
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Hi there, I agree for what you said in here, and to be honest you got me with this post.. keep it up..
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Thanks, Fatima!
Glad you enjoyed the post!
Brendan Baker invites you to read… 27 Experts Share Their Thoughts on Starting Happiness In Their Own Lives
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The difference between passion and obsession is an interesting study. You could say that all the “great advancements” in history were spearheaded by obsessed people. And you’d probably be right. Is that what you want to do … create something earth-shattering? Then obsession may be the ticket.
But, I don’t think most of us really want that. We THINK we want to change the world but what we really want is peace, harmony and to do something meaningful and contributory. So, you’re so right in that balance is likely far more important to us than some illusive fame or wild success.
btw, Brendan, you also did a nice post with your 27 experts.
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Brendan Baker Reply:
September 4th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Great response, Carmelo… you nailed it on the head!
Very true in that those that make a huge impact in the World ARE ‘obsessed’ if we can call it that, both positively and negatively. Eg would we say Steve Jobs was obsessed, or Hitler? Perhaps.
As you mention, balance is the key to ensuring ongoing happiness in what it is that you do.
Brendan Baker invites you to read… 27 Experts Share Their Thoughts on Starting Happiness In Their Own Lives
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I think passion and obsession are both sides of the same coin. Normally when we hear about obsession we think of it in a negative light and when we think of passion it usually accompanies thoughts of excellence.
I wrote about this recently with regards to psychopaths and how their ‘obsessiveness’ can be revered and used for good by non psychopaths when pursuing their own goals.
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Hi Jamie. Sounds like an interesting article.
The key is not to lose sight of other areas of your life. To me, that is how passion and obsession are differentiated. If your focused too much on just the one thing, completely obsessed by it, you can miss out on all the other benefits of life (eg family/friends, health and wellbeing, spiritual, relationships etc…).
Perhaps it can be hard to determine exactly when that line is crossed between passion and obsession
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Brendan,
Very interesting article. I love how you took the play and molded it to building a business while highlighting that being to passionate can be a problem. I agree with that. We could loose site of what’s really important or miss opportunities if we’re just focused on the one thing that we think makes us happy. A wise friend ocne told me “Don’t give up the great life for the good life.”
Ken Pickard
The Network Dad
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Brendan Baker Reply:
September 5th, 2012 at 2:28 am
Hehe, love the quote Ken! Definitely the case… a great life is full of balance, including great relationships, great career/work, financially stable, personal development, health and wellbeing and more!
Brendan Baker invites you to read… 27 Experts Share Their Thoughts on Starting Happiness In Their Own Lives
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To being passionate are good for you and your life.It can work good for you but if you are going on the high volume then you can have some mistakes and become careless at last.
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Make it a point to spend more time thinking and talking about the good things in life than you do the bad things. Over time this will become a habit, just as feeling good will become a habit.
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Brendan Baker Reply:
September 5th, 2012 at 2:40 am
I love that Candice! Such a simple thing to implement in your everyday life
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Alex Reply:
September 14th, 2012 at 11:43 am
I love that too
Candice, you must be a very honest and happy person by implementing that, for sure.
A passion is something that comes from our mind and heart but we need to take a control over it as when it turns into an obsession sometimes it can become… a madness
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Hi Bhushan, good point… if you are doing something over and over and your doing it at such a fast pace or at such a high volume, you can start to see declines in performance. Another interesting point to consider when becoming obsessed by a task.
Brendan Baker invites you to read… How Being A Little Bit Silly Can Build Your Confidence and Enhance Your Relationships
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Hello author , this article again taught me that “Excess of everything is bad”. We should not be too passionate because sometime it cause harm. This is really a great article, thanks for sharing this article with us
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Brendan Baker Reply:
September 6th, 2012 at 6:01 am
Hi Firdosh, thanks for the comment. Glad you agree and glad you liked it!
Brendan Baker invites you to read… 27 Experts Share Their Thoughts on Starting Happiness In Their Own Lives
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I really like your point on the importance of balance, if we want to reach our goals in life or in our profession, we have to be passionate about what we do, but being too passionate could have some unwanted consequences, I think. For example, my husband is too passionate about his job, but unfortunately, he usually forgets about his children…and it’s not good at all…
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Brendan Baker Reply:
September 6th, 2012 at 1:29 am
Thanks for the comment, Borka! So often is the case when we get consumed by something it seems to be relationships that take the first hit!
Brendan Baker invites you to read… How Being A Little Bit Silly Can Build Your Confidence and Enhance Your Relationships
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This is a great lesson. There’s a lot of talk about finding your passion, which is great, but there is certainly a line where passion can cross into obsession. For some people it works – they forget about family and hobbies and enjoy literally spending every waking hour working on what they love. If that’s what you want, great, but I think most of us would rather have people in our lives and other things we enjoy. Mostly obsession just leads to misery and balance is the key. Besides, being too absorbed in one thing can make you lose perspective and you’ll end up doing worse than if you had a chance to explore new things and recharge.
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Brendan Baker Reply:
September 6th, 2012 at 1:31 am
Carol, you nailed it on the head! Obsession can be great in the short-term, but long-term consequences such as the demise of relationships, health or other, begs the question as to whether it is worth it. Perhaps for some, it is, but for most, I would say not.
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It’s odd Brendan that a lot of these people will tell you that you have to give up so much in order to achieve what you want in your business. You have to put your family, friends and time to enjoy things on the back burner until you “make it”.
I know that it’s important to dedicate so much to building something that you’re passionate about and for me I enjoy the work actually but to “give up” time with family I don’t believe is the healthiest thing in the world. They keep us grounded and as you said, people can become obsessed with reaching their goals.
I loved the analogy you gave us here with your story so thank you for sharing that with us.
~Adrienne
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Brendan Baker Reply:
September 6th, 2012 at 1:33 am
Thanks for the comment, Adrienne. Glad you liked the story!
Is spending 3 years trying to ‘make-it’ at the expense of other areas of your life worth it? Perhaps… but that’s another debate 
Brendan Baker invites you to read… 27 Experts Share Their Thoughts on Starting Happiness In Their Own Lives
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I admire people that can be motivated enough to get to this stage of passion! I\’ve had passion for the same things all my life but never felt like I pushed myself enough to pursue them even further. I find myself wanting to try new things and don\’t have the attention span to be fixed on one project long enough.
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Brendan Baker Reply:
September 11th, 2012 at 4:51 am
Definitely a hard thing, Alison. I think the majority of the World is in the same shoes. I’ve only just recently really worked out what my passion is and I’m pursuiing it as hard as I can. I certainly hope you can stay on track to keep pursuing what it is that you’re after!
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Brendan, thanks for sharing this great article. I have been guilty of letting my passion for my business rule my life as well. I have recently been learning to balance my business with my personal life, as my fiance and her son are now living with me, and I have to make time to take care of them. Its easy to make sacrifices when it is just you, but when you have to think of the other people, it becomes harder to manage.
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Brendan Baker Reply:
September 11th, 2012 at 4:53 am
Hi James. Completely understand and agree. I don’t have children but my long-term girlfriend just recently got back from a year overseas and sacrifices definitely need to be made when there are other people in your life.
I’m glad that you have started to balance your life… I’m sure you’re not regretting it either!
Brendan Baker invites you to read… The 43 Habits of Absolutely Happy People – AKA the Happiness Manifesto
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These are great points you have made, Brendan. No’s are a part of our daily lives, be it in love,business or any other thing. I never give up on a “no”, rather it fills me with more energy to do the task more passionately. It is good to be passionate about your dreams and goals but neglecting other things is just not the right way. Balancing is very important, being too passionate about things can look good for a certain time, but afterwards even one needs company to enjoy success or share failure. We all should take out some time from our busy lives for being stupid, for fun, to enjoy little happiness that exists around us.
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Hey-nice story-it reminded me of the JLO and Richard Gere movie!
Rightly said-Passion is the an important thing that is a must in every aspect of our lives. Unfortunately, once passion is lost-it is difficult to find again-doable but difficult. Additionally, too much of passion about something can lead you to ignore other important things in life-for example-my dad is passionate about writing poetry-so much so that he ignores the demands of his family-life at times. It is true that balancing the two is essential.
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that’s a good point of view
i never thought passion could be bad but after what you said its clear that excess passion can be truly harmful , thank you for the insights stacy
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Too much of everything is bad and same goes for passion. It is positive to have passion in life, in everything you do but too much passion is obsession and that has negative connotations. It is a never ending argument though. Your post is definitely interesting and thought provoking, Thanks for the share.
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Hi Brendan,
Firstly a great story line and it reminded me of a movie, although I don’t remember the name of the movie. Passion is one thing which drives a person to take up steps to reach his goals. Passion is something which converts each and every failure in the process into just a stepping stone and provides the encouragement to look forward and achieve more. But over passion about something is always bad and can prove fatal. We all should have a clear understanding about what is passion and what is just an obsession. Thanks for sharing this beautiful post.
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I am just as guilty about being too passionate, when I take interest in a hobby or an activity, I give it more than enough time and I tend to neglect everything else that also matters. Motherhood really changed my perspective and I am now more responsible about managing my time. Thanks for sharing!
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Being too passionate about one area of your life can be detrimental to the equally important aspects that you are missing out on. After all, too much of something is deemed bad. Thanks and More Power!
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Hi, Brendan! Unfortunately, self-awareness doesn’t “work properly” all the time, but what are friends for? Normally they warn you when you take the wrong path
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Interesting post.Balancing your life is essential for absolute happiness and ultimate success.Balancing life is easy to say but it is vary difficult to follow in life.But when you balance your life then you will achieve success in your life.
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