Are you trying to be a super hero in your own life?
Do you wake up every morning and like my oldest son, grab your cape and and put on your mask before you jump out of your room?
In other words: are you trying to do everything, be everything, and accomplish everything?
Do you buy every course that comes your way? Grab every free ebook that you see? Comment on every blog? Subscribe to every newsletter? Listen to every podcast?
Are you following the advice of every guru out there? Are you trying to make everyone happy? Are you trying to be the best at everything that you do?
How’s that working out for you? My guess is that it isn’t.
What I’m really getting at is this: are you trying to do the impossible? None of us are super heroes and none of us are meant to be.
The people that we look to who seem to be able to do it all and accomplish it all are able to do it all because they don’t do it all. No that isn’t an oxymoron. They are able to get it all done because they delegate. They hire people to do a lot of things for themselves.
Maybe you’re new to online marketing, social media and all of that. Perhaps you got involved with all of that to get your behind out of massive debt that you’ve created for yourself. You’re looking around at these successful people online and you want to accomplish what they are accomplishing.
Is that realistic? Really?
You have debt and you spent money that you didn’t have (or you spent the last of your spare change) on web hosting. You are spent and don’t have a dime to spend on anything else. Are you really going to be able to create the same results as those who are making their living online?
They have the whole day to write out a blog post, they have all afternoon to promote that post all over the web, they have the money to buy the tools to have that automated. Do you have all of that? Are you working full time with a stressful two hour commute round trip? Do you have kids who need to go to soccer practice and get help with their homework?
Let me tell you one thing. You will feel overwhelmed if you are living a busy and demanding lifestyle and if you expect to be able to produce the same results as others who are not in the same boat as you.
Hey, wait a minute! What happened? Isn’t this supposed to be a personal development blog? Where is the sunshine and lollipops?
Part of true personal growth is to look at where we are at and where our goals are taking us. Living in frustration while pretending to toot rainbows isn’t going to do anyone a bit of good. That’s reality and facing it will bring some real development.
I want to share with you a bit of my own reality. I started this blog for two primary reasons, though I have found many more reasons in the two years that I’ve been calling this my online home. The first reason was that I wanted to find leads for my business. The second was because I have always been passionate about personal development and blogging seemed like a great way to bring the two together.
There was one major problem that I was not aware of, nor would I be for a very long time. That problem was that I really didn’t want to be involved with the business that I was in. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with the business or the structure to earn an income with it. Neither is true, but it is not for me. I jumped on board because my husband was so excited about it.
I am a highly introverted person with social anxiety. Thanks to personal development and also my faith I have come a long way in improving the anxiety. But I still deal with anxiety when I meet new people and I hate the thought of getting leads or trying to sell anyone anything. It’s just not my cup of tea.
Which has lead to the fact that as popular as this blog has become it has so far done very little to bring any kind of income like I had originally hoped. I’ve made very few affiliate sales, sold only a handful of my ebooks (I’ve done better on kindle!) and I haven’t made much money with advertising or anything else. I’ve won a little money with blogging contests.
I’ve gotten a lot of other benefits that add up to a lot. I was given a $500 personal growth course earlier this year for free, that was awesome! I’ve received numerous free books. Free premium plugins. I even won a very nice laptop recently! I’ve made some amazing relationships and you can’t put a price tag on those. I’m sure that I’m forgetting other great freebies that I’ve picked up – it’s late and I’ve had a long week.
Though I’m very grateful for everything that I’ve gained through blogging (and believe me there is much more than I could list in one post) I found myself becoming very discouraged with blogging primarily because of the financial point of view. It is successful in that it helps a lot of people and the stats have gone up a lot over the last year. I receive a lot of requests for guest posts and tons of emails on a daily basis. But I really only come out even with the blog. I’m not a great marketer and I feel guilty about trying to sell people anything. I’m not saying that as a put down of myself, that’s just the way it is. I have a lot of strengths but they do not lay in marketing.
As a result of all of these mixed emotions I’ve backed away from blogging – and I’ve enjoyed some wonderful guest posts! I am very honored to have the guest authors that I do! Thank you all so much!
I didn’t just back away and hide from the world. Not for long anyway. I spent a lot of time really evaluating what it is that I really want out of blogging and my whole online presence. I considered what I wanted to do with my time and what I wanted to do to get myself on the road to becoming financially free.
You might be aware that for a good portion of this year I have been busy working on a novel. It’s a long buried dream that I’m bringing to reality. It is a lot of fun and I am excited about writing. Self publishing is an exciting industry that is really taking off. It’s an exciting time to be an author with so many options available.
It was a no-brainer that writing novels would be a big part of my plan. I don’t care what the gurus say, writing fiction is a tough industry to get into. Writing nonfiction (such as personal development!) is the way to go if you want to become a well known author. I love writing fiction and that’s what I am going to focus on. I’m going to write, write, write. I’m going to continue creating worlds and characters and giving them to the world to enjoy.
What does that mean for this blog? I will keep this blog and I will continue to write about personal development and blogging tips. I will also write more about writing and self publishing and I am no longer focusing on marketing or entrepreneurship. Not that that was ever really a huge focus here anyway.
It also means that I will be posting less consistently. If I don’t have anything valuable to share I’m not going to write anything. I’m going to write and share with you when I have something of value to say. Don’t worry, this particular post is much longer than normal. This is not my normal type of post.
Nearly everyone in the blogging field says that you need to post consistently to keep a following but that’s not entirely true. I’m following in the footsteps of Johnny B. Truant who is also a personal development blogger who is focused on writing fiction. He posts when he has something to say and he’s still doing quite well. His stats may have taken a hit (I’m guessing) and I’m sure mine will too but that’s okay because that’s not a goal I have right now.
I want to give value to my readers. Not garbage.
Another thing that this means for my blog is that I am still very happy to accept guest posts. Please follow the steps listed in the guest posting tab on the top of this page if you’re interested.
Stay tuned. I will be sharing about my upcoming fiction series very soon! I’ve been working very hard on it and I am excited to be moving in the direction of publication.
So that’s that. That’s where I stand and what you can expect from me and the blog. Thank you for taking the time to read all of this!
If you’d like to share your thoughts I’d love to hear them!
To Your Success,
Image by Suus Wansink
Thank you for reading! I'm Stacy, the owner of this blog. You can learn more about me here.
I'd love to hear from you, please share your thoughts or questions in the comments section.
You can get free bonus chapters from my novel Deception!
Website: → Stacy's Fiction
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Hi Stacy,
thanks for sharing your deep personal insights. I totally understand where are you are coming from. We can’t please everybody because if we even tried, we would neglect ourselves. And this would fire back sooner or later. Sometimes we need to subtract things from our lives, just like you are sharpening your blogging focus by doing so. And the posting frequency ? Well, I am not obsessed anymore about a particular schedule either. Congratulations to your decisions.
Be blessed
Oliver
Oliver Tausend invites you to read… Myths Of Personal Development – Success Recipes Shattered By The Chaotic Pendulum
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Stacy Claflin Reply:
September 1st, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Hi Oliver,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’m glad to hear that you’re not obsessed about schedules either. We need to be flexible with ourselves.
Stacy
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I agree with what Oliver said. I also, like the fact that you are being honest with what you want out of life. Good luck on your book writing.
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Stacy Claflin Reply:
September 1st, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Thank you very much, Bonnie!
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One of the things that draws me back to your blog is that I know you have a passion for writing, like me. I am very excited to see your upcoming posts about writing and self-publishing (whenever you feel like writing them).
Life is about changing courses – drastically or slightly, when things are not working out the way you really desire, so I personally wouldn’t expect you to do anything else given the way you feel. I’m sending tons of good energy your way for your writing.
I have to say though, that you getting a lot of free stuff is just like getting money. I view currency as anything I get for doing something. A free diner, a new laptop (awesome), or just a heartfelt thank you.
Bellaisa invites you to read… Free Relationship eBook
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Bellaisa Reply:
August 24th, 2012 at 8:38 am
Lol. Dinner, not diner. Although a free diner would be good too, as long as I didn’t have to run it.
Bellaisa invites you to read… 7 Ways To Find Love
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Stacy Claflin Reply:
September 1st, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Hi Bellaisa,
I’m glad that you’re interested in the topic of writing. I’m sure that I will be posting more about that soon. I agree that the free stuff is great – I’m definitely not complaining!
Stacy
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Good luck, Stacy…I, too, know that blogging may lead to financial gain for some, but clearly travels along different byways in my neighborhood, too.Keep us apprised as to the progress on your novel, too. (That would be fodder for your occasional blog entries…)
BTW, this is one of the complaints I have about many of these blogs. Next to Name (required) let folks know how long YOU think our name should be. Some of us are proud of who we are and can’t figure out why your blog engine wants to suppress our names. (And, then to respond that we didn’t spend enough time on your blog to leave a comment…)
RAAckerman, PhD EA invites you to read… The computer made me do it?
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Stacy Claflin Reply:
September 1st, 2012 at 4:49 pm
Hi Roy,
I’m sorry that you were having problems with commentluv. That is one of features of commentluv premium. Most of the people who put in a lot of words in the name field are spamming it. Not you of course but the majority of the people who do that are filling it with keywords.
Stacy
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Well good luck with your novel, I think it’s awesome that you’re pursuing what you love. Let me know when it’s done, I will definitely check it out! Honestly, nothing is ever as easy or quick or fun as other people would have you believe. You look around and there’s advice everywhere about how to grow this and build that and do this and succeed at that. But the “advice” I enjoy the most, no joke, is from people who say “This is going to suck and be hard, so shut up and deal with it”. Because it’s true! Sometimes when people are all rainbows and sunshine, it’s even more discouraging because you feel like you can’t live up to this great expectation. Enjoy your road and do success your way!
Carol Lynn invites you to read… Don’t Neglect This Key Step Before You Publish
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Stacy Claflin Reply:
September 1st, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Hi Carol,
You’re right – that’s the truth and not very many people are saying it! It’s not a popular message and most people are more concerned about being popular.
Stacy
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I envy your decision to write and publish a novel. I hope you succeed with it and keep us all updated along the way.
Jamie invites you to read… 18 Tips To Motivate and Supercharge Your Productivity
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Stacy Claflin Reply:
September 1st, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Thank you, Jamie. I’ve written a post this week introducing my upcoming novel.
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Good questions here Stacy… It’s true that I try to do too much of too many things, too often. And it’s NOT energizing me in the long-term. I sometimes feel I’m losing momentum instead of gaining it.
It’s good to remind ourselves the important things and let go of a few things.
He who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment.
Meister Eckhart
Max invites you to read… Meister Eckhart Picture Quote – Detachment
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Well its true that we think we are able to anything and be anyone and there should be a limit. By lately I wake up and shift my mindset that I am going to achieve something new today.. it sorta pumps me up and get me going. Goodluck with your novel!
Tim
Tim Anderson invites you to read… Colorbond Fencing Prices
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Thanks for the honest blog post. I enjoy the writing, learning, and helping others. I also am always thinking about ways to monetize the brand building. It’s always good to examine how we spend our time.
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Hi Stacy I hear you as far as feeling like you’re trying to be superman/woman when it comes to all the components we’ve allowed into our lives. For me I found a different approach that works.
I too try and do everything (and make some pretty good gains) until I eventually burn out and then not only am I not productive, I no longer even know which of the 50,000 tasks I should do that day!
Now when that happens I switch my approach. I go from trying to do everything to focusing only on 1 thing. (write an e-book, launch a new site, etc.) and I stick to this focused approach until I’m no longer feeling overwhelmed with everything.
In mode 1 I’m everywhere doing everything and feeling high energy all the time!
in mode 2 I stop erase (or file away) my massive to do list, and pick the next thing that is important for my blog or business and then focus on that until it’s done.
Seems to work.
All the best to you!
Warren invites you to read… 7 Habits of Highly Effective Bloggers
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Stacy, Good Luck to you my friend! It is through personal development that we grow. Sometimes to places we dared not to tread. You have shared a great story for all of us to learn. I thank you for that.
Sometimes in our growth, different things become prioritized. When we get that AHA feeling, we MUST follow it! It is so wonderful to hear this story of your growth.
Thanks again,
Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read… Stop Complaining
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Hi Stacy
Thanks for sharing your insights and hey I hear you I think most of us at some stage at least tried to do everything online. I am so happy you are rationalizing what you do and following your heart.
All the very best for the book.
Sue
Sue Price invites you to read… Passive Income – Property
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hi Stacy, thanks for sharing this topic,i would like to call that for growing in any particular area you must have to aware of the entire knowledge of that are but it is not possible in 100%.but you can be a super hero of that field or area if you have perfectionist in that field.
nice view Stacy……….
anshul invites you to read… Online Banking Software
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What I know about this life is being Patrick is the best I can in my life! I’m not a hero, not a spy, just a father of my son, a husband of my wife and my parents’ son. That’s what I should do the best! I’ve no time for doing something else, for playing games.
p.s. I like the picture to this post. It’s like being a super hero is a hard job for this girl and she is very exhausted and frustrated. Acting like somebody else is always a wrong way to follow.
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Hi Stacy,
Well, the good news is that you are not going away completely. As I was reading your post I felt that might be the case.
It’s not all easy to make money with a blog just by making sales from the ads and things. I totally get that.
Your blog is pretty popular and I am sure you’ll continue to be just fine as far as the following is concerned. Yes, there are some successful bloggers who do not post regularly and still seem to do just fine.
Looking forward to you next post
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read… Are You Socializing To Build Your Online Business?
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Hi Stacy,
First of all great title and it made me laugh. This post remind me of those days when I was in my dreams with lot of ambitions without focusing on a specific goal. Nice and meaningful post. Thanks for sharing your valuable thoughts.
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Hi Stacy, Some people are natural marketers and some are not. Typically introverts are not great marketers. That’s not to say that an introvert cannot become a good marketer, with practice. I work with a distinct niche of left-brained introverts who don’t know how to market themselves, and I am an introvert (I have learned how to market and surprise! I am good at it-who knew?). Thank you for sharing your authentic perspective and good luck on your book! Suzanne
Suzanne invites you to read… 3 Ways to Make your Practice Work for YOU So That YOU Can Create the Life You Want
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OMG Stacy, you mean you aren’t Wonder Woman? I’m so shocked, I thought all of us women had a cape and tights.
Okay, on a more serious note I totally understand where you’re coming from. I know that you haven’t been all that thrilled with where your blog is and I know your heart has been in writing your novel. I honestly believe you should be doing what you love because if you aren’t truly happy with that then you are just cheating yourself.
I wish we could do it all. I wish the so called gurus would be honest with how they got to where they are. I wish, I wish, I wish. I do know that we can only do what we can and hopefully get to that point when we can outsource a lot of our work. Some day right!
I wish you the very best of luck with your novel and although we do miss hearing from you each week, we’ll just enjoy seeing you when you have the time.
Thanks for being honest Stacy and I wish you the very best of luck.
~Adrienne
Adrienne invites you to read… How To Find Great Blogs To Comment On
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Hi Stacy! I’m a certified workaholic and a full time mom too so you can just imagine how my days are like, I am almost, always exhausted! I truly believe in the power of outsourcing and delegation because after all, I’m no super hero. Thanks for the great share!
Joy invites you to read… Tips on how to make money from silver
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Lot of good thoughts here, Stacy. But, in the end, I am glad that you learned a lot of things from blogging (I can certainly relate back to that, ever since I started blogging, I tremendously improved my skills to communicate in various formats and my confidence in speaking to an audience, no matter what the medium is).
As with super hero, I agree that we shouldn’t try to do everything at all times. And of course, we must also remember to experiment. Because what works for you may not work for me.
But, other than that, we could be super heroes in our lives, right? (We don’t have to be super heroes, just heros – do our part in the community, by taking the small steps – the solutions to world’s problems – like climate change).
Anyways, glad you are making changes. I have also changed my focus a bit – more to personal development and personal thoughts – rather than just on blogging.
Anyways, good luck with the future
Jeevan Jacob John invites you to read… Flexibility, Do I Need You in Life? How about being Judgemental?
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I am an introverted person as well, and I often feel weary and tired because of the everyday hype with my job, my toddlers and my housework. But I think, we moms are all superheroes because we can manage these things! We have to be proud of ourselves!
Evi invites you to read… Fogorvosnál jártam
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You’re right there….we can’t please all the people all of the time. I’m new to blogging but have started up because I love writing and want to get away from the rat-race of mainstream employment.
Janeth invites you to read… Occupy Wall Street & Habakkuk Video
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Hello Stacy! It takes a lot of courage to admit that we are all but human and incapable of doing everything. I make it a point to delegate the tasks I can no longer manage, this way I have more time in my hands to be a responsible leader, a doting mom and wife
Kristine invites you to read… Cash For Gold Teeth
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Hey Stacy
That quite an insightful share. If we try to do everything, we end up doing nothing. All confused and messed up. We need to find our capabilities and work according to it.We can be heroes in our lives by giving the best in what we do.
richa invites you to read… Bringing the Body Online
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I think Kristine is right we have to admit that we are mere humans we cannot do everything nor please everyone. The only thing that we can do is to be the best that we can.
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The day I stopped trying to do it all was the day my life changed for the better. NO ONE can do it all — and the best people have help (and a lot of it). That phrase, “It takes a village…” isn’t just for raising kids … it’s for living life!
Jennifer Bourn invites you to read… And We’re Live With A New Custom WordPress Child Theme On The Genesis Framework
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Hi Stacy,
I know exactly how you feel- and i must say that your achievements are indeed very impressive. you have a beautiful way with words. I work as a freelance writer and this is what i go through everyday- I enjoy my work, write with passion and on days i also feel discouraged for not making enough money. But like you said, and very aptly too, that one cannot be a super hero all the time-heck even Bruce Wayne has to stop being the dark knight someday! Very nicely put post-good luck!
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Yes, great points, there’s only so much one person can do! You have to realise and accept limitations sometimes.
Ben invites you to read… What Footballers Do in their Spare Time
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Thanks for such inspiring post Stacy. All of us at one time in our life realize that we cannot do it all no matter how hard we try; the harder we try the worse it gets. Life is to be enjoyed.
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We should learn to accept the fact that we are just mortal humans. We are imperfect, we have limitations and we cannot perform all the things that people expect from us.
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Well done, good post! In my opinion everyone must be whoever we want to be in ourlifes. At the same time we cannot be beasts and we all should try to be better people. Much apprieciated for your great words!
Alex invites you to read… The Study of Animation – Mesh-on-Skeleton Animation
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I absolutely enjoy reading your articles. It always fetches the people to behave normally, if we try to be the super hero, without our prior notice we’ll develop an ego in us which might screw us and it is the first policy in the marketing world.
Great Share
Siddartha Thota invites you to read… What is the Best PDF Reader for Mac OS X?
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This was a great post Stacy, really deep and I can relate to a lot of what you said. Being a south american man who’s struggling to make a living in the real world. Being honest I’m not trying to be a superhero but someone who I could be proud of. I don’t want to live a life full of luxuries and expensive stuff I don’t need, I want to live a life I could be proud of, a life that inspires others.
Dex invites you to read… Top Chef
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Interesting post stacy. The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. Listen what others taking,learn what others doing then you will become a hero.
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