I was reading from The Daily Maxwell one day last month as I do every day and a story jumped out at me and I wanted to write a post about it because I was so inspired by it. Because I was posting daily about habit building last month you are reading this today instead of then.
The Way You’ll Find People…
This is a paraphrase of the story from the book:
There was a traveller who came to the entrance of a town and before entering he asked an old man what the people of the town were like. The old man asked him how the people were in the last town the traveller was at. He replied that the people were harsh, negative, unfriendly, etc. The old man told him that’s the way that he would find people in this town too.
Another traveller came by the town and asked the old man what the town’s residents were like. The old man also asked this traveller what the people were like in the town he had been to last. This traveller said that the people were kind, considerate, giving, etc. The old man said that this is how the traveller would find people in this town also.
Can you figure out the moral of the story?
I’ll give you a hint, the old man is of a sound mind and he is not trying to trick either of the travellers. Does that help?
I won’t tease you if you are stuck on the moral because this is really powerful stuff! The moral of the story is this: how we view others is a direct reflection of ourselves!
It makes sense doesn’t it? If we are kind, trusting and generous we will naturally view others as being the same way. If we are negative, selfish and demanding we will view others to be the same.
This gives us some very good reasons to stop and listen to the way that we talk about others. Others will see right through us and eventually figure out that the way we speak of others is actually more of a reflection of us than the people that we are discussing. Another reason is that we will want to do some self reflection if we find that we are not speaking so well of others.
If we are not speaking well of others then that is an indication of some areas that we need to work on in our own lives and thoughts. If you’ve ever spent time with someone who complains about everyone that they come across then you know exactly what I am talking about.
At first we may have sympathy for them and their plights but before too long it becomes extremely obvious where the real issue lies. The real issue is with the person who is a negative thinker and probably a constant victim or even a bully.
Everyone is out to get me, nobody likes me. That guy cut me off on purpose, my spouse purposefully offended me, my coworkers are out for themselves, my friends use me.
Where is the good in the world? Isn’t there anyone nice out there? Surely there is, but you won’t find it from a person spouting off such negativity.
Though a person who thinks and acts negatively also attracts negativity to themselves creating a self fulfilling prophecy through what is commonly called the law of attraction.
The same is true for those who think positively and look at the world in a positive light. They draw in like minded people and will find themselves surrounded by more positive people than negative.
How can you make this work for you?
This is already working for you, either negatively or positively. If it’s affecting you negatively and you want that to change you can change it!
The first step that you need to make is to adjust your thinking which can be life changing! You can start with some affirmations and by taking the time to stop and look for the good in others.
One thing you can do is to say to yourself, “STOP!” when you find yourself thinking something negative. Then take it a step further and replace that negative thought with something positive. If you have a difficult time coming up with positives then definitely keep affirmations handy for you to look at!
I’m a former negative thinker and I can tell you that this stuff does work! It works wonders!
Please share your thoughts in the comment section!
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To Your Success,
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photo credit: Casey David
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There is a girl who works in our office and she is consistently this giant ball of energy and positivity. She’s also very generous. All attitudes are contagious but the minute you have someone who walks around looking like they were weened on a pickle with their sour faces; that kind of attitude seems to spread a lot quicker.
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 9:55 am
Hi Jennifer,
When I’m around someone like that I am always inspired to be more like that too!
Stacy
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Hi Stacy,
I like the story…..stories are always good. Thank you for the attitude adjustment reminder. So easy to slip into negativity….but it is a choice, every time. Thanks for sharing. -Stephen
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 9:56 am
Hi Stephen,
I love stories too! They are a great way to really bring a point home!
Stacy
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The story is awesome Stacy! I want to hear more of you because you are an inspiration to all…
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 9:57 am
Thank you, Alyssa!
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Great story, Stacy. I once worked with one very negative person and I tended to avoid him because he was a constant victim – everything was everyone else’s fault. It is hard to always be positive and I am just learning about the benefits of affirmations. Thank you for sharing your story! ~ Suerae
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 9:58 am
Hi Suerae,
Thank you for stopping by! It is best to keep a distance from the negativity of others. We become the people that we spend the most time with!
Stacy
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This is so true, Stacy! I too am a negative thinker convert – well, in the process convert. A good example out of the mouth of babes happened when my oldest remarked at a popular retail store, “Mom, the lady checking us out was pretty rude.” In my old ways, I’d agree and probably roll my eyes. Today I respond, “Remember this lady deals with the public who aren’t always friendly and polite. She may be having a hard day. She may be exhausted from being on her feet for hours on end.” Extending grace and not judging – powerful life lesson!
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 10:00 am
Hi Carrie,
That was a great way to handle situation and a wonderful example for your kids!
Stacy
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Indeed. We are all mirrors of the world around us. If we want other people to smile at us, the very best way is to make sure we are smiling when we walk into the room. People smile at smilers, not at frowners.
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 10:01 am
Hi David,
I couldn’t agree more! Thank you for sharing!
Stacy
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“UNLESS the person in question is a proven Jerk.”
I do believe that we mirror the people around us. Therefore, if you’re surrounded by jerk, then ignore/shun them from your lives. Remember, though that though this is an important lesson, we must understand that there are JERKS out there. And, no matter how we act – no matter how positive we are – they will still be jerks.
Therefore, talking about Negative Thinking – to keep that positive thinking, I suggest (like I said before) IGNORE THOSE JERKS.
What do you think?
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 10:03 am
Hi Jonathan,
I agree! We cannot control any person on this planet except ourselves! There are rude and negative people out there, that’s just a fact. We can offer them kindness but if they refuse it then we’re best to give them space before they end up influencing us!
Stacy
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I saw that quote recently and loved it; thank you for expanding on it so well. It’s true – how you are is what will be reflected back at you. Another way I interpreted the quote is that what you expect is what you’re gonna get. If you expect people to be rude, unkind, etc. then that’s exactly what you’ll get! I’ve seen this play out so many times.
Peace!
K
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 10:05 am
Hi Kaylee,
Both sides of that story are very true! It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy!
Stacy
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Its very true that the way we judge others symbolizes that somewhere we are like that from inside.
Else every person have some quality. It depends on us which side of coin we want to choose.Its an excellent post.
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 10:18 am
Thank you, Venus. What’s on the inside will show on the outside! It really is our choice!
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dear stacy lovely post.negative or positive …yeah its law of attraction .
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 10:18 am
Thank you, yes it is the LOA!
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It needs a trained eye to see the hidden treasure inside others. Appreciation is one of the most powerful relationship building tools. See what is good in others and sincerely appreciate it and you’ll cultivate very strong relationships. Thanks for sharing this story Stacy.
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 11:06 am
That’s very true, it’s easy to find faults. Anyone can do that. It takes someone genuinely interested in others to find the treasures in each person!
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Sometimes, it is a good idea to avoid negative people as their negativity can affect you. But the best thing we can do is to help them turn their negative thinking into positive thinking. If we can do that, we’re helping them change their life for the better.
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 11:08 am
That’s very true, if they are willing to accept the help! If we are strong enough to be the stronger influence we can help them but we have to be sure to surround ourselves with mostly strong and positive people!
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Great story! I always keep saying my friends to think positive, stay positive, and be with positive people..
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 11:12 am
It’s true, to stay positive we really need to surround ourselves with positive people!
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What you are looking for and expect to find are certainly what you’re going to. Positive outlooks are the most important thing somebody can have. For most people, this includes the factor of “Am I having fun?”. Is so, good for you. But if not, change something!
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 11:16 am
You’re right, anyone can change their mindset. There is a lot of information on my blog on how to do that.
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They say that we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. I don’t enjoy being around negative people, but this truth makes me take steps to distance myself from people that aren’t positive and affirming. Some will say, “but people can change”… and to them, I’d answer, “Only when they want to.” So, until they do, they’ll only have a peripheral role in my life.
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 11:18 am
Lesa,
That’s true and why it’s so important that we are careful about who we spend the most time with!
Stacy
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Hey Stacy,
Not only did I grow up in a small town and was able to see both sides of this story play out, but I’ve whitnessed it throughout every interaction since! We form/create the climate around every one of our various interactions. We cannot control what happens as much as our reaction to it. The “script” we write determines how our reality will be formed.
Here is to positivity!
~Becca
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 11:24 am
Hi Becca,
That is very true, we can only control our reactions to what happens. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react!
Stacy
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Hi Stacy,
That was a very good story and it got my attention. I’m normally a very positive person and I do try to avoid being around negative people.
But when I’m driving…it’s a different story. It’s like Jekyll and Hyde
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 11:25 am
Hi Alan,
Yes, driving can tempt even the most positive person!
Stacy
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Hi Stacy,
Great Story Stacey!
I don’t like being around negative people, because their negativity effect how I feel and think. so I try to avoind those kind of people
~ Easther
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 11:26 am
Hi Easther,
It’s true, we become like the people that we spend the most time with!
Stacy
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HI Stacy, lovely post. You will always find what you are looking for…. and see what you want to see.
That’s the bottom line.
Rally enjoyed the post.
Jayne
Jayne Kopp@personal development coach invites you to read… The Key to Success is all About the Decisions You Make
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Stacy Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 11:32 am
Hi Jayne,
Very true! I’m glad that you enjoyed the post.
Stacy
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Hi Stacy,
I am making a conscious effort to get rid of negative thinking. I’m starting by surrounding myself with positive, like minded people. Whenever I want to complain about someone (especially a coworker), I am trying to tell myself to let it go and think of something positive. It’s a process, but I’m sure I will be happy with the results in the long run.
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Stacy Reply:
February 13th, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Hi Jamella,
It’s definitely a process and some people are trying even to the most positive person!
Spending time with like minded people is one great way to combat the negativity!
Stacy
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Hi Stacy,
This is so powerful
“How we view others is a direct reflection of ourselves!”
The law of attraction in action. We attract people we think we deserve to attract.
This is powerful stuff. Thanks
Tosin
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Stacy Reply:
February 13th, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Hi Tosin,
It’s definitely the LOA in action!
What you say reminds of me of how people tend to attract the same “types” in dating relationships!
Stacy
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Nicole Kelly Reply:
November 15th, 2012 at 8:48 am
I definitely agree with your sentence that you said “How we view others is a direct reflection of ourselves!
Stacy, your post inspired me a lot to be good human. I expect more from you like this one.
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Stacy fabulous post as always:) I think positive people are contagious and you want to spend your time around them. Being in the UK (and also having friends from all over the world) I’ve definitely noticed that there is much more negativity with UK people than people from the US for example… I find that some people just find positivity and happy energy etc. very “mumbo jumbo” which is such a shame.
I made a concious decision a year ago to only surround myself with positive and like-minded people and life is much sweeter because of this:)
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Stacy Reply:
February 13th, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Hi Lilach,
Thank you! I don’t doubt that where we live can influence the typical mindset of people. We become like those around us and if most are negative then it will be more difficult to find the positive ones. I’m glad that you’ve found some!
Stacy
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Hmm, this post was a bit of an eye opener.
Lately I’ve been wondering if it’s just me getting older (grumpier), or if people are just getting more annoying. I’ve been working from home for the last two years with very little outside interaction and find myself getting annoyed with people (mostly when I drive into Calgary). I was quick to blame them, but after reading this it very well could be ME!
The flippant part of my brain wants to say “nah, couldn’t be” but I’ll honestly give it some serious thought.
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Stacy Reply:
February 13th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Hi Warren,
Becoming aware is a big step toward changing! I used to be very negative and once I accepted that I was my biggest problem it was easier to make the changes that I needed to make.
Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts!
Stacy
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Hi Stacy! This is a great story to read. I will always think positive from now on. And i will avoid being a negative thinker. You really inspire and i’m so excited to read more from you. Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing this post to us.
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Stacy Reply:
February 15th, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Hi Karla,
I’ve got other posts on the topic of positive thinking if you’re interested!
Stacy
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Thank you Stacy, your doing an awesome work! As said, you want
to be around positive people, and that makes you become positive and productive
yourself. Change your attitude! See the bright side of life and people will start befriending you
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