I’m taking a vacation from blogging but I am reposting and polishing up an old post that didn’t get much attention over a year ago when my blog was very new. (Thanks to Pam for this great idea!)
It has been said that we will become the five people that we spend the most time with.
Who are you becoming?
Take a moment to stop and think about the five people that you spend the most time with. Imagine them with your mind’s eye. Hear their voices with your mind’s ear. Hold their attitudes with the hands of your heart.
Are these the people that you want to have such a large influence on you that you will become 1/5 of them?
Now think outside the box, think of other people that you spend a lot of time with…
This doesn’t have to include people that you see every day. This can include people that you talk to on the phone, people that you email daily, people who’s walls you write on often, and even blogs or books that you are reading!
- Who has the most influence on your thinking?
- Who do you go to for advice?
- Who gives you unsolicited advice?
Are these people positive or negative? Do these people believe in you? Do they tear you down or build you up? Do they encourage you to do your best in all that you do? Do they encourage you to do the right thing? Do they tell you the truth in caring way or do they only tell you what they think you want to hear?
- Are these people living successful lives?
- Do their lives inspire you to do more and be more?
- Do you look at their lives and want a similar type of life?
- Do you want to accomplish what they are doing?
- Do you want the kinds of relationships that they have?
If you answered no to any of those questions, why do you allow these people to be the most influential in your life?
What can you do to change the top five people in your life who will help you become what you want to be?
Every choice that we make takes us one step down one of two paths: the path of success or the path of failure. This is called the Slight Edge. The choices seem so small and so insignificant that they seemingly doesn’t matter.
For example, if you have the choice between a salad or a hamburger for lunch today it does not seem like a major difference either way. You won’t drop ten pounds immediately for choosing the salad any more than you will drop dead right there if you choose the hamburger.
But if you were to make that same choice every day for a month, two months, etc. you will find yourself moving toward either better health or health problems. Have you ever seen the movie “Super Size Me”??
The same Slight Edge philosophy runs true with the people that we allow in our inner circle of influence. Spend time in presence of successful people who are doing what you want to be doing, living the way that you want to be living is the only way to become what you want to become!
If your inner circle of influence is full of people who are unmotivated complainers it won’t be long before you are down that path – and it will happen so gradually (that’s why it’s called the slight edge) that you likely won’t even notice how it happened.
I’m not saying that you have to cut everyone out of your life who is not living the way that you want to be living! But it would be wise to cut out the time spent with those people unless you want to be like them.
Make sure that you are spending far greater amounts of time with your top five – the people that you want to influence you. Then you will be strong enough not let the other people in your life influence you down paths that you don’t want to go.
Make the small choices that don’t seem like they matter – and make them every day! Your life may not look any different tomorrow or next week, but in a year when you look back you will be astounded at the difference!! Be astounded in a good way next year!
I have been applying the Slight Edge to my life for more than a year since I originally wrote this post and I must say that I am happily astounded at the difference I see in myself and my life over this time! I listen to the audio every 2-3 months and get something new out of it each time to apply.
I can tell you this works and I can’t wait to see where I’m at in another year!
Also, this weekend I will have the opportunity to hear Jeff Olson, the author of the Slight Edge, in person! I’m sure that I will have much to share from that so stay tuned!
To Your Success,
photo credit: Shandi-lee
Thank you for reading! I'm Stacy, the owner of this blog. You can learn more about me here.
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Who Are You Going To Be?…
It has been said that we will become the five people that we spend the most time with. Who are you becoming?…
Very insightful Stacy. I hadn’t read this originally but it makes so much sense and I can totally see it in my own life.
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Stacy Reply:
August 10th, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Danielle,
I’m glad that you are already living the slight edge! I think that you would really get a lot out of the book. I love listening to the audio when I’m on the go!
Stacy
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Hi Stacy,
Little changes make big differences. That’s why the Slight Edge concept is so true.
Successful people release negative people to make room for positive people to move into their lives. Seems like a small deal, but it’s not.
I went from becoming a pessimistic dude who never wanted to leave the house to a guy with multiple thriving online businesses, over 1000 inspirational quotes under my name, and I’m currently travelling Southeast Asia for a year.
I made little changes, and one of them was releasing a few negative influences to make room for more positive influences.
Thanks for sharing.
RB
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Hi Stacy, I have heard of the Slight Edge, but not read it yet. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept after hearing your explanation. Thankfully, I have applied these techniques for many years now. You are right, it makes the world of difference.
Every once in a while I have to tweak… and I do. The small choices are the ones that add up the most.
Thanks for the post. Hope you do manage to get some time off as I am. I have just finished writing a post about recharging (so to speak)… hope you can make August that month you need!
Best
Jayne
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Glad you reposted this. I never thought about that idea of the 5 people we are around the most influencing who we will be.
I saw that alot as a teenager growing up, but thought it might stop there, but you are right. Even as adults our spouse, children, and the few friends we still see, are definitely playing a part in who we are as people.
Glad you shared this.
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I’ve heard that “we become the five people that we spend the most time with”. This is a frightening concept. I spend the most time with my husband (good so far), my son (adult drug addict), my mom (judgemental b@#&$), my best friend (good, again) and my husband’s best friend (now a schizophrenic). So I need to hang out with some new people!
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Aloha Stacy, very nice post and it is very essential to think about this topic seriously. Why? Because the typical cliche, “you become who you hang around with”, is very true. Being selective in life is important, with a few test tries in what others are about, but stay focus on what matters in my life. Glad I came by and thanks for sharing! Mahalo, Lani
PS..glad we’re connected on fb, come by anytime.
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Great!Very insightful post I am happily astounded at the difference I see in myself and my life over this time! I listen to the audio every months and get something new out of it each time to apply.thanks for sharing this with us.
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Hi Stacy,
Awesome post and pleased you reposted it. I am sure you are too because it helped you to see the difference in your own life from taking little steps one at a time.
~Marcus
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This advice is so accurate! A few years ago, I asked myself the same questions you outline. I made some serious changes in my life regarding who I spent time with etc… and it made all the difference in the world. I am much happier now and doors started opening right and left. It’s amazing what positive energy can do for you. By itself, positive energy is powerful… Combined with a group of people who have the same energy as you, it’s unstoppable.
-Carrie
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Stacy, Glad you liked my suggestion for reposting:)
This is a great one. I never thought about the Slight Edge quite this way. It really will make me think about my choices and who I spend my time with. Being around negative people all day (like at work) is hard on your happiness.
Thanks for sharing this one again!
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I think it is good idea to publish old posts at the beginning bloggers work with enthusiasm.
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Hey Stacy!
Sweet post. I have a very similar post somewhere deep in my blog from the beginning.
Very interesting concept. Once one knows this, they can no longer be naive about it. We must change our surroundings in order to fulfill/create the personality we would like to become.
The power of the impact from others is truly remarkable…
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We become the 5 people we spend the most time with? Well, I’m working on changing some of those 5 people around, then! Or at least as best as I can.
Some of those people that are influencing me in a negative way can’t be helped, but I’m going to start paying more attention to those who are encouraging and uplifting me and weeding out the rest as best as I can!
You might be taking a vacation, but this is still a great post.
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We always have the choice as to who will influence us. If we surround ourselves with intelligent and competitive people, we will surely adapt their character. It also goes the other way around.
Thanks for the insights you have shared Stacy. Now you really got me thinkin’! I’ll be back for more updates.
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Hi, Stacy.
Great post. I know that I don’t spend enough time thinking about the influences on my life as I work to be who I want to be. However, I have recently removed some people from my life who were causing me stress, anguish and negative emotions, and I feel much better.
Thanks for this,
Robin Mathis
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James H Reply:
August 15th, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Hi Robin, liked you comment. I guess the inspiration is good, but at the end of the day it ‘you’ and ‘what you do’ ultimately matters. I have been trying to remove these type of elements from my life, but i guess, since i cannot say ‘NO’ it is difficult for me to permanently remove them
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Hi there. Thanks for sharing this. It’s a very great share!
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Hi Stacy,
Very Nice article. Though these are basic things that everyone is supposed to know and follow but its these that we so often miss or neglect and that’s what, i suppose, differentiates a good person from a great one! Thank you for this lovely piece of information.
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I totally think that the smaller choices matter just as much (if not more so) as the bigger ones. At the end of the day, they add up to effects that can be just as lasting as a monumental decision!
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A very sweet post from you Stacy. This is a very much interesting concept .
This is really nice blog. Most of people think that blogging is an easy money making task which is not true it takes time, really passion, and engagement!
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Hi , People are often overwhealmed by the need to change and create a big fundamental shift as being the ultimate goal .I believe it is constant course correcting and being able to expel limiting self beliefs that create a solid path for personal developmemt .Less is more but awareness and mindfulness is everything .
Lou in Germany
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Stacy Reply:
September 26th, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Hi Lou,
Those shifts are definitely needed for personal growth! Thank you for sharing!
Stacy
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The effect other people have on us isn’t always obvious. They enroll us in their stories. When the stories lift us up, we are inspired. The thought of sharing in someone else’s life and story can seem magical, but some people’s stories have twists and turns that we aren’t prepared for. I believe eventually we are all moving towards a “golden place in the sky”, but that doesn’t mean I want to be involved in a story that has me cringe and saps my energy. It’s better to let them be and check back in on them to see if they’ve processed whatever they were wrestling with. Just because it’s their fight, it doesn’t mean it has to be yours too. Life can be a dance. Sink into the ecstasy!
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I tend to look forward way more than to look back on my life. Of course, from time to time, I like to see if my life is taking the course that I wanted it to take.
It’s not always a nice experience
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Stacy Reply:
December 9th, 2011 at 4:13 pm
The good news is that we can make choices to change those experiences! My upcoming habit building challenge is one way that many people are choosing!
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Appreciating the persistence you put into your site and in depth information you present. It’s good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same unwanted rehashed information. Excellent read! I’ve saved your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.
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Stacy Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 11:15 am
Thank you, welcome to my blog!
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