About seven years ago I joined a message board to talk with other people who were in similar life situations that I was in. I was struggling at the time with my roles in life and it really helped to talk with others in the same boat.
It really did help to talk about life with those other ladies and some had more similar experiences to me than others. I would often find myself writing private messages to those ladies and we would have even more candid discussions than the ones on the board for all members to see.
In this particular group I was especially close to two ladies, one that I had actually met in a couple of other similar boards. Although we have left that message board it’s not uncommon for us to email daily or even text each other.
Though she’s not the one that I want to share about with you today. I want to share with you about another special lady who became a very dear friend of mine. We seemed to connect almost immediately, it became clear that our lives held many parallels. It was pretty amazing to see all of the similarities that our lives held.
We had many things to talk about and seemed to understand each other in ways that others didn’t. We definitely held many of the same core life values and beliefs. Our personalities were very similar, we used to joke that our husbands were separated at birth.
We really seemed to have a special connection and I remember that a few times I had asked her to pray for me and each time that she did pray for me I saw quick results. So when I wanted to have a baby I made sure to have her pray for me! She’d had her first baby already and then I had mine not too long after that. About a year later she had her second.
Around that time I discovered that I actually had cancer (we knew it was a possibility for a while, you can read my post on it if you’d like). Unfortunately that’s not where our parallel lives part, around the time that I found out that I was expecting my second baby she had discovered tumor in her brain.
Sadly, this is also about the time that we started to lose contact. We were in touch here and there on facebook and last I had heard and understood things were looking good and she was in remission. I was busy not feeling well with the pregnancy and I just assumed that things were continuing to go well for her recovery as they had for me.
Fast forward to last week when a mutual friend from one of our message boards informed those of us still keeping in touch on facebook that my friend had taken a real turn for the worse and was in hospice care no longer taking any treatments.
I can’t even begin to tell you the shock that I felt. It doesn’t matter that I had never met her, that I had never given her a hug. We had connected, we had shared our lives, we had shared pictures of our kids.
I still went through all of the stages of grief.
Today I found out that she didn’t make it. I’m going to go through the stages of grief all over again.
It’s a very sad day when a loving wife, mother of two very young children, stepmom, friend, aunt, cousin, daughter, etc. dies at the age of 33.
So goodbye, Delia. I never got the chance to meet you in person but you were most definitely my friend and I will miss you so much.
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I’m so sorry Stacy. When you connect with someone, even online, and develop that kind of bond and relationship, it can be just as difficult losing them as if it were a family member. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and her family.
Matty
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:56 am
Matty,
Thank you so much for your kind words and your prayers. You’re right, a bond is a bond regardless.
Thanks,
Stacy
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Aww. I am so sorry. That’s just heartbreaking. Cancer sucks. Matty is right – friends online can be just as close as those we meet in real life. I, too, have a very close friend whom I have never met in person.
Hugs as you grieve this loss.
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:54 am
Thank you, Audra! I hope that you can meet your friend someday!
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Oh, Stacy, I’m so sorry! I had tears in my eyes reading this.
I also just read your post about thyroid cancer. You’ve had so much on your plate!
Sending you a hug!
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:53 am
Thank you, Charise!
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Oh Stacy, I can barely see the screen. I am so sorry for your loss… I ‘feel’ your pain through the post. This was a tough one to write wasn’t it? Hope you had a good cry during and after posting.
WOW.. all I can say is my prayers and with you and I’m extending cyber hugs. Hope you can feel it.
It matters not where we are located … real connections and close friendships can be made even when you have never met.
I met a friend very similarly.. in a Veterinary chat room We are both animals and my cat was sick. She was a Vet. assistant. After though we shared many things, on a more personal level. We have exchanged photo’s back in the day when photo’s didn’t email well… and now we are of Facebook. She is in CA… of course I am in BC. One day we will meet (God willing). Nevertheless, I consider Vi one of my close friends.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure you had as much impact on her as she did on you.
Lots of love
Jayne
Jayne Kopp invites you to read… The Best Way to Make Money Online and a Wee Apology
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:43 am
Hi Jayne,
Thank you for your sweet reply. I hope that you get to meet your vet friend soon, and of course it would be wonderful for us to meet up too!
Hugs,
Stacy
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I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with the other comments that it doesn’t matter where we meet somebody or even if we ever see them eye to eye to enjoy a powerful connection. My thoughts are with you, thank you for sharing about your great friend.
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:27 am
Thank you, Kathy!
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So sorry to hear that. It’s so amazing how the internet can bring wonderful people into our lives to help us through tough times.
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:27 am
Thank you, Kristi. The internet really allows for a real sense of community!
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Hi Stacy,
sorry to hear about the loss of your good friend. We can be close friends with people even though we never met them in person. Thanks for sharing this moving story.
Take care
Oliver
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:26 am
Thank you, Oliver.
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Hi Stacy,
So sorry to hear about your loss. It just goes to show that it’s very possible to meet and grow meaningful relationships online.
Thinking of you at this sad time Stacy.
~Marcus
Marcus Baker@ Netrwork Marketing Internet Business invites you to read… Motivated Versus Inspired Blogging
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:24 am
Thank you, Marcus.
It is amazing how many people have shared here about having meaningful relationships online.
Stacy
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Hi Stacy,
You are brave to tell us this story.
I know how difficult it is to fight for cancer and how broken-heart when we lost a family member or a close friend.
Sorry to hear about losing your close friend. My sister lost her husband last year, he had advanced liver cancer. Everyone had tears. My sister even couldn’t be able to believe someone was just gone from her life.It was a tough year.
Much Love and a big hug. Wish you feel better from grief.
Yen
Yen invites you to read… What is the price of the ugly truth online Part 1
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:23 am
Yen,
Thank you for sharing your story. Times like this seem to bring people closer together, people who have experienced similar experiences as well as those who lose the person.
Thank you,
Stacy
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So sad to read this Stacy…
And yet so beautiful that you had such a powerful connection with someone without ever having met… Great that you have the courage to share the experience here to honor that friendship and enrich our lives too…
Thanks, and a big hug to you, along with prayers for her family…
Jym
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:22 am
Thank you Jym. I appreciate your kind words and prayers for her family. They surely need all that they can get.
Stacy
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thank you for sharing this beautiful connection you made. we have friends for a reason, a season, or a lifetime (and maybe more than one lifetime, too!?). it doesn’t matter if you never hugged; you clearly formed a special bond during a special time and delia is surely honored to be remembered by you here. my heart goes out to you stacy!
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:19 am
Thank you very much for your kind words, Melissa! Friendship is really about connection and not physical proximity!
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Hey Stacy,
So sorry about that. Shows the strength of your character to let us know about that.
It’s amazing the kind of friendship we can form while online.
I remember a time Marcus was ill at UK. I felt so uncomfortable here in Nigeria and my thoughts were really about him. I actually prayed for him. Felt really so close to him.
Be rest assured I’d be thinking of you here and praying for you as well.
Take care, Stacy!
Tosin
Tosin@home-based business caoch invites you to read… Facebook Fanpages- How to Get Thousands of Fans for Fanpages
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:58 pm
Thank you very much for your kind words and your prayers, Tosin! It means a lot!
Stacy
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Hey Stacy,
I’ve had similar experiences faily recently. I real close friend of mine took his life a year ago. Another whom I only knew for a short while, a German tuba player also died of cancer last year round Christmas time. My way of grieving and recovering from these episodes was to celebrate the lives of these 2 people. For Kurt, my German friend I wrote a blog post and was blown away to hear that it was read at his funeral. It also become one of my most read blog post. For my long term friend Tim, I wrote some word for a song that my band plays. It is an upbeat ska number and a fitting tribute to a man who was so full of life.
I firmly believe that it is so important to celebrate the lives of those we have lost. It helps with the grieving process.
I’m going to pray for you over your loss of your friend today.
Take care and be blessed.
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Marty,
I’m sorry for your losses as well. It doesn’t matter what the time or distance is, the relationship is just as real and we feel the losses just as strong.
Thanks,
Stacy
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So sorry to hear this. A few years back a friend of mine, also 33, tragically died in a car accident. We had sort of lost touch thruogh the years until just before the accident. I know exactly what you mean. Hang in there.
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Thank you, Dalia. I’m sorry for your loss as well.
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Hi Stacy, my heart is so heavy for you as begin your journey of grief in the loss of your friend!! Those are hard times in our life but for myself I marvel at the support and warmth and caring attitudes of my online friends in times such as these!! The online communities are such a blessing, especially as we grieve and feel so burdened, our friends are there to lift us up and help to carry the burdens while we are “down in the valley.”
I so feel your pain girl! Hang in there, time has a way of healing!! I will be covering you in prayer! I am thinking of the song, “Ask the Saviour to help you, comfort strengthen and keep you, He is willing to aid you, He will carry you through.”
Blessings Stacy and thanks for sharing your heart on the loss of your friend!
Karlene
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Karlene,
Thank you for taking the time to write out such a thoughtful response. Especially since I know that you are going through a time of grief in your own life too. I hope that your family is staying strong, I will keep your family in my prayers too.
Stacy
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What a wonderful and also so sad story Stacey. How are you coping? Maybe it would be a good idea to contact her family?
The most natural things in life are to be born, live and die. However in the Christian world death can be scary because of the stories of heaven and hell. Not to mention the experience of dealing with an undertaker.
Between when I was 20 and 23 three people close to me passed away. For many years on and off I had a “fight” with death. Then suddenly one day I realized that I had become “friends” with death and have no fear of it what-so-ever. Needless to say that is a huge strenght.
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Hi Catarina,
Thank you for your support. I am definitely going through the grief process but also grateful for the friendship that I had with her. I’m sorry to hear about your losses, that sounds like a very trying time in your life.
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Hi Stacey,
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. But I agree with Jym and Marty – rather than seeing it as a loss, look at all you gained by connecting with this beautiful person. We don’t have to physically meet people in order to connect with their energy. This relationship clearly had a profound impact on you. And just because she’s moved on to another playground, doesn’t really change that.
Hugs,
Melody
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Thank you very much for your encouragement, Melody. I was definitely blessed to have my friendship with her and that is why the loss is so deeply felt.
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Such sadness. So sorry for your loss. I too have made online friends who have passed away and there is no difference in your grief if you had actually “met” her. You did meet her, just not in the traditional sense. You did have a relationship with her. And you will grieve.
This is a beautiful post that is a tribute to your friend and also to friendship and what it really means.
Take care . . . .
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:38 pm
Thank you very much for your kind words, Martha. I’m sorry for your loss as well. It’s very difficult but it shows how much we cared for them.
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Stacy, I’m so sorry for your loss. I will keep Delia’s family in my prayers in the coming days.
This was really a touching post as my cousin has been battling breast cancer. Thanks for giving voice to such a tough situation.
Sending you prayers and support.
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Thank you for your kind words and your prayers. Her family can surely use as many as they can get.
How is your cousin doing?
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Steve from Karmic Kappuccino Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 6:52 pm
she’s completed her treatment, but as with any cancer, it’s a day-by-day process.
With breast cancer, she’ll always be extra cautious and monitoring herself.
For now, we’re grateful that all the immediate surgeries and treatment is wrapping up. She keeps a blog at http://www.amy-newnostalgia.blogspot.com about her life as a wife and mother. She also covers religious topics and how to live more simply and healthily. If you’re interested, you might check her site out.
Steve @ Karmic Kappuccino invites you to read… Improve Your Communication- Improve Your Life
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Stacy Reply:
May 18th, 2011 at 9:57 am
Steve, I’m glad that she’s doing better, I will definitely check out her blog, thank you for sharing.
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Stacy, I had to pull out the tissues before I could comment on your post. Saying I’m sorry is never enough in situations like this. That I am all too aware.
I have bonded with some people online that I feel like I’ve known forever. It doesn’t matter that we’ve never had the chance to meet in person, I still consider them some of my dearest friends. So no matter the distance or whether or not you’ve spent any quality time with that person in the flesh, friendships are formed for so many different reasons.
I feel your loss and I am so deeply sorry! Truly, her life was cut way too short but she will definitely be remembered. Thank you for sharing this with us even though you wish you had never had to!
Adrienne
Adrienne invites you to read… How You Can Build A Business In Just 5 Months
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:36 pm
Hi Adrienne,
Thank you so much for your kind words. My loss just goes to show what a special person she was, otherwise I would just be sad for a little while and that would be it. I’m definitely grieving/mourning.
Stacy
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Wow, that was a tough read. I had no idea that was where you were going in the beginning. My condolences for you and you friend’s family.
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Thank you, Bill.
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I cant begin to imagine the grief you must be feeling. I am deeply sorry for your loss. Loosing someone is never easy, even though youve never met the person, but instant connection and sharing your joys and problems online, youve both had can surpass the lack of physical interaction. And this type of loss is nonetheless hurtful as any other one. And I pray you take courage.
Martinsays: stay blessed.
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Thank you very much, Martin. I’m really glad to have known her, the loss that I am feeling is a testament to the special person that she was.
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I’m in tears! How touching, upsetting and heartbreaking. You might not have known Delia in person but you did KNOW HER. I tell people over and over that online relationships ARE relationships. You can cultivate bonds with people and, clearly, you did that with Delia. This is a true testament to how people can find support and comfort in the online space. I am sorry for your loss.
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Lauren,
Thank you so much for your kind words. You’re right, friendships are friendships regardless of distance.
Stacy
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I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with the other comments that it doesn’t matter where we meet somebody or even if we ever see them eye to eye to enjoy a powerful connection. My thoughts are with you, thank you for sharing about your great friend.
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Thank you very much!
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Stacy – My condolences. The friendships we make online are every bit as real as ones we make offline. Health issues are a horrible thing
Thirty-three years young is just too young to say goodbye. Prayers be with all involved.
Jon
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Thank you very much, Jon. It’s times like this that I realize just how much online friendships mean!
Stacy
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So sorry about your loss.My heart was broken when you said that mother of two very young children die.Poor them.Prayers be with all involved.You had a nice friendship online
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Thank you for sharing and for your prayers. I’m glad that this post has brought more prayers for her family.
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Sending my condolences.
I am also praying that you continue to do well.
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Thank you, Laura!
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Hi Stacy,
I am sorry to hear that. There’s not much I can say, but I will pray for her family. Loosing a loved one at such a young age is very difficult especially when they leave a family behind. My hear goes out to them.
Tisha
Tisha invites you to read… 5 Ways to Flow With it- Breeze Through It- and Come Out With Clarity!
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Thank you, Tisha. I can’t even begin to imagine what her family is going through.
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Oh, Stacy! I’m so sorry…
It’s amazing how we can be close friends with people even though we never met them in person.
She was still young, Stacy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family.
Sending you my virtual hug,
Mavis
Mavis Nong @ Online Business Tools invites you to read… How I Became a Top and Popular Blogger in Less Than 9 Months!
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Stacy Reply:
May 17th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Thank you, Mavis. It really is amazing how close we can become to others online! I think that in many ways we let our defenses down more easily allowing for deeper connections.
Stacy
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I’m very sorry about your friend, Stacy. Even if you have never met her in person, I am sure she considers you as a close friend as well. There are many other instances in our lives that one day seems to be just like any ordinary boring day, but then the next – you might as well have an incurable condition and end up dead. “Cherish every single day as if it is your last†– this is a quote I often remember when it comes to this kind of situation.
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Stacy Reply:
May 20th, 2011 at 11:47 am
Thank you, Felicia. You’re right, we never know when our last day is. That’s why I always tell my family that I love them when we part ways.
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I’m so sorry to hear about this Stacy. 33 is such a young age, and after having a connection with someone that you would NEVER expect, it makes you think about what their purpose in YOUR life was. She obviously brought you happiness and support and I believe that friends are there to provide those exact things. Sounds like she was a beautiful person and now she’s in a place where she’s no longer in pain. Do you get the chance to meet her family? If so, do you keep in touch with them?
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Stacy Reply:
May 20th, 2011 at 11:50 am
Thank you very much, Jen. I don’t have any contact with her family, I would love to keep in touch.
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I’m so sorry, Stacey. It must be so heartbreaking. You’re right online friend, might be closer than the real life friend. Also if you had the same condition with him/her. I’m still searching for the true friend actually, and I hope I will found one either in online or real life. My prayers with your friend. God Bless.
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Stacy Reply:
May 23rd, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Thank you very much, Andrew.
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Bummer. Well at least you’re still updated through the forum you guys met on. It’s always a shame when someone passes when they’re so young.
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Stacy Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 6:34 pm
It really is shame.
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I’m sorry to hear about that. It’s interesting the people we meet in life. They’re all in our lives for a reason-regardless if it’s 5 minutes or 5 years. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope the best for you and her family.
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Stacy Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 9:38 pm
Thank you very much, Uri!
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I understand how you feel, i’m also close to a few people i met online. We’ve been talking about a meeting for years now, but never got around to actually doing it. But once you talk every week to a person it’s impossible not to develop some feelings for them. And a death like this is always so sad!
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Stacy Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 6:36 pm
It really is so sad! I hope that you are able to meet up with your friends soon!
Stacy invites you to read… How to Unlock Your Full Potential
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That is so heartbreaking. I am so sorry to read this. I think it’s beautiful you formed such a deep, meaningful relationship with someone you met online. In some ways, it’s almost easier to connect with certain people online because you have an instant bond through the message boards or blogging or whatever brought you together. You can connect in a different way because you are not a part of each other’s lives face-to-face. You will always treasure that relationship, I’m sure.
Angela
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Stacy Reply:
July 19th, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Thank you, Angela. It does seem that it’s easier to connect on a deeper level online. I really miss my friend but it’s comforting when I see her face show up on my blog on the facebook fans bar.
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Even though I have never met you OR Delia, this post truly touched me. I have lost someone close to me before and I feel like it doesn’t matter if you’ve met the person or not, if they have had an impact on your life then losing them hurts just as much. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Natasha
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Stacy Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Natasha,
It really is the emotional connection that means so much!
Stacy
Stacy invites you to read… Facing Fears
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Sorry for your loss… I’ve made some amazing friends on line.. and those relationships are deeper and more intense than sometimes our real life ones..
We meet such a diverse amount of people.. I think I have learnt more from my on line friends than I have in real life because we are more likely to find people from all walks of life here..
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Stacy Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 6:39 pm
Thank you very much, Aneesa. The friendships that we make online can have a profound impact on our lives!
Stacy
Stacy invites you to read… How to Turn Your Blog Into a Thriving Success
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sorry to hear about the loss of your good friend. We can be close friends with people even though we never met them in person. Thanks for sharing this moving story.
Take care
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Stacy Reply:
November 7th, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Thank you very much for your kind words.
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When I was reading your post my tears fall down. I was so touch to your story. Sorry to hear that your is lost. I appreciate your kindness. Thanks for sharing your post. It was a heart warming story.
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Hi Stacy, I reading your story. It’s such a wonderful article to read. Your my inspiration.
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Hi Stacy,
I enjoyed reading your article. It was such a wonderful message to everybody about meeting friends in unlikely places. I used to have the same experience with you but we do have different story.
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