A couple of days ago I listened to about 3/4 of the audio version of the book The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. I’ve listened to this book before and it is a very powerful book with so much life wisdom to take from it. Listening to that much of it in a few hours time was a good experience and helped me to see the slight edge in a new way, from the perspective of the big picture.
I was also struck by a story in the book that hadn’t made it’s full impact on me other times that I have listened to the audio. In this story that Jeff shared I was really struck by the fact that worrying about what people think of me is really a phenomenal waste of my time. Jeff shares that this story changed his life and I hope that I can say the same thing about my life.
I’ll keep it simple: he was reading a magazine one day and read that at the average funeral only ten people cry. Only ten people care enough to cry at the average funeral. You and I are not the queen of England or some famous movie star. We’re pretty average, even if you’re above average you might still only have 20 people cry at your funeral.
Take a moment to let that sink in. The next time that you are tempted to worry about what someone thinks about you, about what you are doing or about what you are going to say ask yourself this question: Will this person cry at my funeral? In other words Does this person’s opinion of me really matter?
Go out and be your best you and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks!
To Your Success,
How does this story strike you?
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Great post Stacy! I often make a point of reminding myself why I shouldn’t worry about what others think of me… Although throughout my life as a child I can sure remember hearing ” what would so and so think” “If so and so knew that about you”. I was certainly well trained to worry about what others think of me!! Does this person’s opinion of me really matter! Not! I often use this line “other people’s opinions of me are none of my business! Now I will add “will this person cry at my funeral?”
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 4:32 pm
Hi Holly,
I think that as a whole our society has been trained to think about what others think of us and it certainly doesn’t help when we are raised to think like that!
Have a great day!
Stacy
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Quite compelling. I have just gotten to a point in my life that I could care less about what others think of me, except my children, my husband, my grandmother….you catch my meaning. And those are the people who would cry at my funeral. That’s a good way to weed out the time-wasters.
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Hi Kamylle,
It’s great that you have already reached that point, many people sadly never do. Great job!
Stacy
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Aloha Stacy, I enjoyed your post and what an interesting analogy, but it sure makes you think about that or if anyone will show up to your funeral. I don’t think it’ll matter, a lifeless person won’t know the difference, only the people that is there attending. We do have to watch ourselves and not let others take over our thoughts, behaviors or what we want to say. Just be ourselves and stand for who we are. Glad I came by and thanks for sharing! Mahalo, Lani
PS..I enjoy the group we’re associated with, Blogging Mastermind. Very cool! Come by and visit me sometime.
Lani Kee – Sharing MMT invites you to read… Connecting Youtube Videos To Your Facebook Like Page
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Aloha Lani!
I agree that the person who’s funeral it is won’t know the difference but the story does give us a lot to think about in how we live our lives.
I will stop by your blog! 
Stacy
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Great post, Stacy! I love “The Slight Edge”! I was thinking of that story when I was driving to the store the other day, and I saw a funeral procession that only had two cars not counting the hearse. I liked the point to Jeff Olson’s story: it is the people who don’t spend too much time worrying about what other people think who make the most difference.
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Hi Steve,
I think I remember you mentioning the slight edge a while back (perhaps in response to one of my other posts?) It really is a great book and it seems like there is always something new to learn from the book – because we are always growing and lessons strike us in different ways! Just like Jeff mentions in the book.
Stacy
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Hmm.. for me, I doubt even 10 ppl would cry at my funeral. My mom and dad, and 2 siblings… my aunt, my 2 grandmothers, maybe another aunt, and uncle. hmm.. who else… everyone is in my mother’s side.. my dad’s site, I doubt they’ll even attend the funeral =(
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Hi Henway,
I’m sorry that this post brought up some sad feelings. My intentions were to inspire all of us to live life without fear of what others think.
Blessings,
Stacy
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I love The Slight Edge. Thanks for bringing up that story. It is very interesting and now I am wondering who would cry at my funeral. It probably is within the 15-20 mark. Everything makes me cry, though. I have cried at funerals of people I have never even met (Grandparents’ friends, father’s boss’s mother, etc.)!! I’m a big cry-baby!
Lauren Huston invites you to read… Charlie Sheen- What About Michael J Fox and Christopher Reeve
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Lauren,
I can be the same way, I even cry during certain tv shows and at weddings.
Stacy
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Oh gosh…the story is so funny because it strikes home..LOL! Thanks for sharing it!
The most important people to me are my family members. Other than that, I am less worried about what others think of me.
Evelyn Lim invites you to read… How to Be Bold In Life
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Hi Evelyn,
It’s freeing to not worry about what others think! I am much happier when I’m in that state of mind!
Stacy
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That’s pretty sad but makes sense. Whenever I start worrying what others think, I tell myself something similar to this. Thanks for reminding me.
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Hi Jen,
What is it that you usually tell yourself? I’d love to hear it!
Stacy
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Jen Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 5:05 pm
I tell myself that there are a finite number of people who truly care what I think or do. I think of them and don’t worry about anything else.
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 5:13 pm
That’s another great thing to tell ourselves. Thank you for sharing!
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That’s a great take on the subject Stacy. I know I’ve spent far too much time thinking about what others think of me. So much of that creates feeling of guilt that simply are not real. I said to someone the other day that I had a habit of taking too much responsibility for things that were not my concern. I was bowled over by the response. She said “It’s not being responsible, it is your feeling of guilt that you carry”.
Marty invites you to read… How to benefit your mind and body
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 4:53 pm
Hi Marty,
I have been “victim” of false guilt too. The books on Boundaries helped me out a LOT!
Stacy
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Hi Stacy, this almost made me cry. I know there would be a handful for sure… but one of my biggest disappointments and struggles (and has been for a while) is knowing about “one” person who wouldn’t.
Other than that, I know who I am and treasure those who treasure me and need to remind myself to thing in a different perspective.
Thanks for the good reminder! I should get that book or audio!
Jayne Kopp invites you to read… Use the Fear of Failure in Your Favour!
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Stacy Reply:
March 11th, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Jayne,
It’s very hard to mourn disappointments like that.
I’m glad that you are making a real effort to move on be the best that you can be in spite of difficulties!
The title of your post in the commentluv sounds very interesting, I can’t wait to check it out!
Stacy
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Stacy, I thought I was the only one who thought that way. I have always told my son when he would complain about what his friends thought of him and I use to say,”were they there when you were born?” He would say, “ahhh..no” Then I would say, “will they be there when you die?” then he would respond, “ahh…no” Then I would say, So..Who cares what they think of you.
After that conversation he stopped caring about what other people think of him.
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Stacy Reply:
March 13th, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Hi Tisha,
That’s a great way to help your son, I’m glad that it worked!
Stacy
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I’ve been living that way for the better part of my life. If you worry about what other people think all the time, you’ll never live your life, you’ll live the life they want you to so they will be comfortable having you around.
My criteria has been: can I face myself in the mirror at the end of the day? If I haven’t knowingly hurt someone (or, myself, even), that’s what’s necessary to be the best I can be and accomplish my purpose on this earth. And, if 10 people don’t cry at my funeral, it won’t matter because I’ll be listening to the chorus of joyful hellos from the other side!
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Stacy Reply:
March 13th, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Hi Sharlene,
You have a great view of life! Thank you for sharing!
Stacy
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I’ve been so bothered with all comments from other people around me. Luckily, a very closed friend of mine had been always by my side to remind me that I can’t please everybody so I need to give priority to myself.
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Stacy Reply:
March 23rd, 2011 at 9:59 am
Hi Samantha,
It’s easy to allow others to bother us, but when we remember that their comments reflect more about them than us it’s easy to move on!
Stacy
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Hi Stacy. This post is an eye opener to me. The funeral thing happens in reality.
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Stacy Reply:
March 23rd, 2011 at 10:00 am
Hi Raymund,
The story of the funeral is a real eye opener, isn’t it?!
Stacy
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